Whelmed.....it's over.

How long has it been since I've posted...like a year? Half a year? Who knows? It's been a wild ride this semester. Overwhelming. With student teaching, it's early bedtimes and intense planning & paper writing. But now, I'm finally done and I feel like its best if I had record of my thoughts on this experience and also other areas of my life. So if you care to listen (? or read ?) I'll lay things out in parts...

Part I: Student Teaching Experience

For anyone who doesn't know, this semester was the last semester of my undergrad career at UNC-Asheville where I majored in Mathematics and received certification to teach math in grades 6-12. This semester I finished up with student teaching. Going in, I had a feeling of anxiety and actually felt pessimistic about what I was about to face. I was afraid of failure. I felt like there was more responsibility as a student teacher than if I were actually the teacher. Not only was my last semester of college hanging in the balance, but also the academic welfare of the students I would teach. In addition to that, the students' performance would reflect on their actual teacher, my cooperating teacher, and not me. However, little did I know, this would be one of the most rewarding experiences I've had in college.

First of all, the students were absolutely fantastic. We had a good time every day....well, almost every day. That was the part I was most worried about--being their "friend" but also being respected as authority. But, from day one, this was never an issue for the most part. I had a good time getting to know the students and learning how to teach math. I'm thankful I was able to learn with such a great group of students as well as from a great teacher.

The biggest thing I took away from this experience was that there are more important things to teach the students than math. I learned that it really didn't matter how much math content I communicated to the students if I didn't impact their lives to become better citizens of society. I made it my goal each day to be an example for the kids, a role model. This required even more responsibility. Everything I said and did became critical to my ambition of impacting these students. It was a hard thing to grasp--1 teacher, 100 students--but I was determined to make this happen.

At the end of my time at the school the kids threw me a party. It was incredible. I will always remember this. Almost every one of them made me a 'thank you' card. It was a bitter-sweet moment to have to leave, but I am glad that I was able to accomplish this chapter of my life.

Part II: Graduating and Planning for the Future

So the next step is graduation. I've completed my student teaching, received my grades, tried on my cap and gown, now all I do is walk across a stage and accept that expensive piece of paper (this weekend!!!). It's been unusually boring around here and I've felt like I'm supposed to be getting things done like homework. But I quickly remember that I will never EVER have to worry with homework again as long as make the choice to not go back to school. Since then I have been able to work on music. This is an awesome feeling. I've had ample amounts of time to spend time with friends and do what I love.

I've been leading worship for Element Church. This was a God-given opportunity. Not only to I love music, but I really enjoy leading worship. This is a new avenue for me, but I'm loving it.

As far as the future goes, I will be working at Ridgecrest again this summer, running sound and doing tech work. After that, I plan on substitute teaching to establish a little income. For now, I don't want to start a full time teaching job because I want to be able to dedicate as much time to my music as possible so that I can step through any doors that open up. I don't want anything preventing that and being tied down to a 'real' job would do just that. Maybe eventually I'll become a 'real' adult and get a 'real' job.

Part III: Music

We're looking for any opportunities and open doors to get our music out there. If you haven't checked out our stuff yet, you can hear some live stuff at our YouTube channel. Also, follow us on twitter and our Facebook page, too.

As for now we're playing as many shows as we can--local events, festivals, or worship events for youth groups or other church related functions.

We've spent 5 days out of the last two weeks recording a song that we are hoping to get out soon. We have a good feeling about this song and we're praying for good results. It's called The Grace and it's simply the gospel of Jesus. I'll refer to the chorus of the song in Part IV which is:

"The Grace of God--poured out on us

When the One He loved was on the cross

He gave it all to save a soul

Oh, the Love of Christ has ransomed us."

Part IV: Peace, Love and the Parkway

I spent two and a half hours on the Blue Ridge Parkway this evening as I drove back to my place in Asheville from our recording session. It had just finished a relatively

intense rain storm when I decided to head back. It was around 5.30pm. The sun had just started to shine through the overcast clouds.

It looked hopeful for a nice drive back. I got on the parkway in Waynesville, NC. The mountainous scenery is absolutely gorgeous. I am floored every time I drive through, but today was different. The clouds were slightly heavier than usual because of the weather; they were big, white and fluffy. The shadows they casted caused the mountains to look even more mighty this time than my previous drives. It's hard to explain. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but it's hard to explain in a thousand words the greatness of a mountain range that could

only have been created by an intelligent God. A picture can't capture the feelings I felt as I looked on in awe at the beautiful scenery. An analogy for this could be the feeling of being at a concert. Sometimes it's possible to buy a live album but the recording cannot capture the emotion of actually being at the show. The pictures I snapped express nothing like the intensity of seeing these sights first hand.

The further I got along the parkway the more foggy it got. I had to drastically decrease my speed. My visibility range became about 25 feet in both directions. Driving between mountains is

intimidating but even more so when you can't see them or what's ahead. I am glad I got to spend this time alone because I was able to hear as God spoke to me. I was praying about the future and meditating on living life with purpose and with my focus on the glory of Christ. Being forced to focus on the road helped me to realize that keeping my focus on the one true Life would allow me to be where I am supposed to be in every circumstance I would face. Why waste time living for myself and selfishly trusting on what I think I know? When I can't see but just a short distance into the future, I am forced to trust God. But, it's truly a waste when I can see more of the future and I stick to my own plans. There have been times in my past where I followed my own desires and I found myself in a place I shouldn't have been. Now, however, I feel like the future is foggy and the light at the end of the tunnel is still a foggy light.

what do you think about my photography skills and analogous references?? :)

Aside from the thoughts of my unclear future, I was able to worship my Father, the creator, as I was amazed by the creation. Due to the fall of man, the world is bent towards ruin and destruction, however, the beauty of the Creation is proof, to me, that God loves us and allows us to experience some of His beauty through the wonder of his incredible creations. The vastness of these sights reminded me of one of my favorite songs that says, "How deep the Father's Love for us! How vast beyond all measure!" To me, vast is a word that is one of the closest words that can describe His Love and it's exactly the word that comes to mind as I stood on the side of the highway to acknowledge God's handiwork. I was able to feel the Love of God as well as the peace that only He can give. Today was a wonderful and much needed time alone. If you ever are given the opportunity to drive on the parkway on an overcast day like today, you won't regret it.

From recording the song mentioned above, the grace of God rang out to me today even more. He grants me grace every day through the sacrifice of the one He Loved. Through Christ's willingness to die to save me, His Love ransoms me. Jesus still would have even chosen to die if it were only for you alone. Lately, I've been meditating on the word Ransom. To purchase something means to buy something that is not yours but because of your payment it becomes yours. To ransom something means to buy back something that is already yours. Jesus' death ransomed us because we are already His but because of our sin we are separated which requires Him to buy us back again, to ransom us. This brings so much peace to me!

Below are some more pics I snatched along my travel back home.

So yeah, an overwhelming end to an overwhelming chapter in my book. I'd say that it couldn't have come at a better time or even in a better way.

Sometimes I feel like Denzel Washington….

I just watched the Book of Eli this weekend. The movie actually moved me quite a lot. I had to watch it twice to get all of it, and I’m probably still missing something. Now, my interest in this could be from my lack of TV watching since this was the first movie I’ve watched in a while, but nonetheless, something about it was very relatable to me.

Without spoiling anything (until later, so you can close your eyes then), I’ll give synopsis of the plot by explaining how I related to Denzel’s character, Eli. Throughout the entirety of the movie, Eli is wandering through this portion of his life alone. He literally fights these battles. It seems that everyone is after him. Everyone wants him for only one reason, the book. He had something and people wanted him for it, not for himself.

After pondering about the internal struggles Eli had in the movie, I felt like the movie could have been about my life. Now, I’m not trying to throw myself a pity-party or pat myself on the back or even expect anyone to come running with sympathy, there were just some things that really stood out to me. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one struggling with fighting these battles. I feel like I’m alone sometimes. The encouraging part of the movie was Eli’s unmoving faith. He always kept his focus on his purpose. Nothing ever got in the way or swayed him otherwise.

I think it has to do with peace. I believe that God woke me up yesterday so that I would go to church to hear a message that he had given the pastor for me. I honestly believe that the ultimate purpose for the message was for me. If we have peace then we can face anything. In order to have true peace, or Shalom, we must understand the depth, breadth and power of the atoning blood of Jesus Christ and how THAT is the only reason we are loved and are able to love. Trusting Christ gives us peace. This is an internal peace, but because we contain this peace we can share it with others. However, sometimes this peace can be sort of blocked out by things in our lives. Or it can be clouded up because of stress and worry and other things that we let slip into our hearts and minds. Jesus is what gives us peace. Nothing else. Having peace is more than just the peace we think about like “peace and quiet” or when we grant others peace when depart from one another. This isn’t the peace we hope for between nations throughout the world. This is peace that allows us to understand joy and gives us hope that can’t be removed. Hear what Jon Foreman says about it:

-------------------------SPOILER ALERT---------------------------------------

So it turns out that Eli is blind the entire movie. He goes about and physically fights and wanders through his life with one purpose of going west. Am I blind too? What am I missing? I feel like I’m fighting things every day, but am I doing it without a vision? I know my purpose. And I fight for my dreams. I have hopes and aspirations and I know that finding hope and joy in a Savior will ultimately carry me. But could I possibly be doing this without looking? Maybe the idea behind Eli’s lack of vision was to show that all he needed was his heart set on a certain goal. I don’t know. Whatever the case, I will continue. I will do everything I can to defeat the things that crush my dreams. I will not let anything get in the way of my purpose in the world.

One more thing that I got out of the movie was how precious my bible is. It’s so important to keep these words. Learning what it has to say to you and sharing that with the people in your life. These are God’s words. They are from his mouth. Tell everyone about it. Love ‘em.

And 2 months later...

I haven't realized that it's been 2 months since I last posted. So much has went on and time has really flown by. So I guess it's about time I update my virtual "diary" and keep things jotted down on my online ink and paper.

Since music is what fills my life mostly, I'll begin and finish with this topic. On October 29, we played our debut show in downtown Asheville. It was quite a fun experience. We had a great time and I am thankful for everyone who came out and supported us. It seriously meant a lot. You can check out some of the footage of the show as well as some other entertaining clips at http://www.youtube.com/user/piedmontmusic .

The very next weekend we traveled back to Manchester, KY with Campus Crusade to minister to the locals there and give out coats and blankets. Again, like last year, this weekend rocked my world and shook up my life. These people are hurting so much. They would walk into the warehouse where we were and sit down with us as we explained to them our purpose for being there. We were there to share the love of God. As we loved on these people, some would seem to 'zone-out' while others would tear up and fight back their weeping. I immediately channeled this into a song. I want to be able to help out everyone who walked through that door with despair on their faces. With water in their eyes, where do I turn? It gets me down when I know that I can't save them. But, even though I'm not their savior, I know the answer and the hope that can heal their broken hearts. Let salvation carry you home. There is love for them. There is love for you.

We're going to be recording more on the album in a couple of weeks. Keep your ears peeled (??) for any updates about where you can get it.

So, 2 months later....here I am. Ready for what's next, a changed soul.

There Is Love For You

So many people/So many broken

Abandoned, forgotton/Left without hope

There are so many hurting/So many loved ones

They've been beaten down/Can't stand to fight it

There is only one answer

There is only one hope

When you're lost with no place to go

There is love for you

Yes, enough for you

Let it come--lay your burdens down

It can heal the wounds in your broken heart

Let it comfort you

Let it come to you

Oh, let love make your life brand new

There is love for you

I've seen so many people/Water in their eyes

Despair on their faces/The same on mine

So where do I turn to?/How can I save them?

Oh I'm not a Savior/I can't save myself

Now I know there's an answer

I know there's a hope

Salvation's right here

Let it carry you home

"untitled"

it's been less than a week since my last post, so this is unusual of me. But I'm just going to be honest for a moment. I'm feeling awful. It just seems like this is a horrible week. It's Monday. I don't even want to finish this week out. Meaning, I'm ready for Friday. I don't want to do whatever I have to do this week. This mostly has to do with the load of school work I have, but still, I don't want to do this. I don't want to be here right now. I'm in my last year of college. I'm not content with the work I have to do. I don't want to follow anything regarding my degree. I'm just so ready to be done. I'm looking forward to the future, but it seems like the process of getting there will be slow, tedious and overly-frustrating. I'm not looking forward to that.

Last night we were rehearsing our songs from the project we're working on, and I felt so confident and happy the entire time we were working on stuff. I found what I want to do. It's so frustrating to know that I have to stick out this part of my life before moving on. Sometimes I wonder if I should regret my decisions that led me here. Then again, those same decisions could be what brought me here, musically. I never thought I would even be this far along with my music. It's absolutely a miracle.

I don't know what I'm saying. I guess I would covet any prayers that you could throw up on my behalf. Thanks to all you who run over here to the blog. Love you all.

just stop and think.

Take 15 minutes and watch this clip. It will change your life.


if you can't see the entire video, you can find it at juststopandthink.com click on "get dvd's" then select 'watch movie' under just stop and think. (It may be in better quality, also.)

girls, girls, girls....

I don't trust God. That's what it comes down to. I simply don't. I want to, but I never do. I always rely on myself.

This weekend at Ridgecrest, I worked as the sound tech for the North Carolina Baptist State Convention...for women. I was one of six guys in the room. Three of them were musicians with Laura Story (she wrote Indescribable), one was Laura's husband, another guy worked with me and the last guy headed up the conference. We were out-numbered by about 250-300. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to pay attention to the talks. I was afraid of what I might hear. But, I did catch a few things that really hit home for me.

This past week I kinda got out of my normal everyday routine. I woke up later than usual a few times and I headed out the door before I got to spend any time letting God speak to me. There's something about reading the Word before you really start the day. A lot of the time, when I fail to do so first thing, I'll never get back around to it that day. And somehow I always feel like the day just doesn't flow like it should. One of the talks from the conference reiterated to me how important it was to make sure I prioritize my time accordingly.

A tithe is a 10% contribution. We, as Christians, usually understand this to mean 10% of our income. God blesses us with this income so we give a part of it back. He also gives us time. 24 hours each day. That's 1,440 minutes. If we choose to give 10% of each day, we would spend 2 hours and 24 minutes (144 minutes total) getting to know Him better. Well let's just look at the hours we're awake. On average, we'll say we sleep 8 hours a night. That leaves us with 16 hours. A tithe of this would only be 1 hour and 36 minutes. Still too long? I'm not saying any of this to play the judge of how many chapters of Leviticus and Deuteronomy you read each day, I'm just sharing some thoughts I've had over the past couple of days. It convicts me of how much time I actually don't spend trying to understand the Love of God better.

God doesn't specifically say that we must spend this much time in solitude with our Bible, but I feel like He wouldn't mind more of our time. I'm guilty of doing my own thing too much. I'm on Facebook way more than I should. I watch too many episodes of House. I spend too much time just goofing off. I really need to straighten up my to-do list, work on time management and get my priorities in order.

Maybe if I spent more time understanding the life of Jesus and listening to what God has planned to show me, then I would learn to trust Him more. One of the talks of this conference was titled "Winning Over Worry." When I wasn't thinking about how many women I know who worry too much, I would ponder my worries. I worry about my future all the time. I feel like I'm getting somewhat better at this, but I still do it excessively. I worry about finances and how I will pay bills after school. I worry about girls and how I'll know when I find 'her' (hence the name of the post). I worry about my music and my musicianship which leads to more concern for my future regarding a career. I need prayer. I need to let someone else have control of my life. I need to let Jesus. I need Jesus.

One last thought on girls. Seeing these ladies experience their creator through music and prayer was a blessing. Laura was great. I'm usually bias (but NOT sexist!) when it comes to female musicians, but she rocked the house (figuratively speaking). [Nice sounding guitar. And the rest of her band sounded great too. I like guitar tone :)]. I was surprisingly challenged from this weekend. I saw God move among His people...specifically me.

Side note and accomplishment on worrying: I've almost quit worrying about school related issues because I'm ready to be done with it. HA! So, there's one that I can check off the list. I'm focusing on the goal, now. Graduation. How I get there is the only question. But no worrying. I'm just going to get there.

today, I'm thankful for salt.

I just moved into a new place here in Asheville. I think we're finally settled in. And just like any other time you begin living in a new place, there is a period of time where you start to realize the things that you need. Well, it had been about a week and a half when my roommates and I were tired of eating our food without any salt. After two or three trips to the grocery store and returning without any, we finally wrote it down on a list and set out to buy some. And today, I'm thankful for it. I feel like thats one thing I would have the toughest time cutting out of my diet.

So I got to thinking about its importance and then the Sunday School bible verse came to mind: "...salt of the Earth...". So we're supposed to positively 'flavor' the world right? And my other question is, am I doing my part?

I crossed paths with someone yesterday. A guy I have known as a fellow believer. So, as a believer I find it important to have a genuine concern for others. Now, this is no pat on the back for me, but when I greet someone and ask how they are doing, 9 times out of 10, I truly mean what I'm saying. I honestly want to see how they are. But when you have this cliché response, I find it offensive to not take the extra second to stop to genuinely, casually chat. Maybe it was just me being in a weird mood where everything bothers me, who knows. But, I do know that we are called to have community with other believers. Therefore, I believe it's important to show love to everyone. I believe this can be the most simple way to show love. It's different with 'strangers' but I still find it necessary to have a loving demeanor regardless of who you meet.

There is such thing as being over-salty. I believe there is a balance. You can over saturate your fries at Wendy's which makes them less enjoyable. So, if we try to show this same compassion to just anyone, things can become awkward real quick. Sometimes a simple smile and head-nod will do the job. But I think that when there is a tighter bond between you and whoever else, it's appropriate to show your care for them.

I feel like we owe this to the American culture. In America, we think it's important to be polite and speak but I feel like it's worse than being impolite when it's obvious you don't care how someone's doing. Since when do a conversations look like this:

Person 1: "Hey, how ya doin'?"

Person 2: "How's it goin'?"

And they keep on walking. Neither question was even addressed. It's kind of funny to realize how many times we do this. But, there were two questions proposed here and neither was answered. I do think that if we are genuinely concerned about others, this could be a small step in bettering our world. We could start with our relationships with those we consider acquaintances. You may not be their best friend but you do know their name and have at least met them before. You can speak some love into their life if you show that you are truly concerned with their general well-being.

Maybe this is just one of my quirks. Or maybe it just hit me weird yesterday. This may not even make 'a lick a' sense'. I don't know. Just something I felt I needed to share to whoever may run across this. But I honestly try my best to be Love to everyone around me. I think we can make a little difference with improvements in areas like this. I feel like this is one step in 'flavoring' the world. I hope I'm doing my part.

Believe and Be Love.