How long has it been since I've posted...like a year? Half a year? Who knows? It's been a wild ride this semester. Overwhelming. With student teaching, it's early bedtimes and intense planning & paper writing. But now, I'm finally done and I feel like its best if I had record of my thoughts on this experience and also other areas of my life. So if you care to listen (? or read ?) I'll lay things out in parts...Part I: Student Teaching Experience
For anyone who doesn't know, this semester was the last semester of my undergrad career at UNC-Asheville where I majored in Mathematics and received certification to teach math in grades 6-12. This semester I finished up with student teaching. Going in, I had a feeling of anxiety and actually felt pessimistic about what I was about to face. I was afraid of failure. I felt like there was more responsibility as a student teacher than if I were actually the teacher. Not only was my last semester of college hanging in the balance, but also the academic welfare of the students I would teach. In addition to that, the students' performance would reflect on their actual teacher, my cooperating teacher, and not me. However, little did I know, this would be one of the most rewarding experiences I've had in college.
First of all, the students were absolutely fantastic. We had a good time every day....well, almost every day. That was the part I was most worried about--being their "friend" but also being respected as authority. But, from day one, this was never an issue for the most part. I had a good time getting to know the students and learning how to teach math. I'm thankful I was able to learn with such a great group of students as well as from a great teacher.
The biggest thing I took away from this experience was that there are more important things to teach the students than math. I learned that it really didn't matter how much math content I communicated to the students if I didn't impact their lives to become better citizens of society. I made it my goal each day to be an example for the kids, a role model. This required even more responsibility. Everything I said and did became critical to my ambition of impacting these students. It was a hard thing to grasp--1 teacher, 100 students--but I was determined to make this happen.
At the end of my time at the school the kids threw me a party. It was incredible. I will always remember this. Almost every one of them made me a 'thank you' card. It was a bitter-sweet moment to have to leave, but I am glad that I was able to accomplish this chapter of my life.
Part II: Graduating and Planning for the Future
So the next step is graduation. I've completed my student teaching, received my grades, tried on my cap and gown, now all I do is walk across a stage and accept that expensive piece of paper (this weekend!!!). It's been unusually boring around here and I've felt like I'm supposed to be getting things done like homework. But I quickly remember that I will never EVER have to worry with homework again as long as make the choice to not go back to school. Since then I have been able to work on music. This is an awesome feeling. I've had ample amounts of time to spend time with friends and do what I love.
I've been leading worship for Element Church. This was a God-given opportunity. Not only to I love music, but I really enjoy leading worship. This is a new avenue for me, but I'm loving it.
As far as the future goes, I will be working at Ridgecrest again this summer, running sound and doing tech work. After that, I plan on substitute teaching to establish a little income. For now, I don't want to start a full time teaching job because I want to be able to dedicate as much time to my music as possible so that I can step through any doors that open up. I don't want anything preventing that and being tied down to a 'real' job would do just that. Maybe eventually I'll become a 'real' adult and get a 'real' job.
Part III: Music
We're looking for any opportunities and open doors to get our music out there. If you haven't checked out our stuff yet, you can hear some live stuff at our YouTube channel. Also, follow us on twitter and our Facebook page, too.
As for now we're playing as many shows as we can--local events, festivals, or worship events for youth groups or other church related functions.
We've spent 5 days out of the last two weeks recording a song that we are hoping to get out soon. We have a good feeling about this song and we're praying for good results. It's called The Grace and it's simply the gospel of Jesus. I'll refer to the chorus of the song in Part IV which is:
"The Grace of God--poured out on us
When the One He loved was on the cross
He gave it all to save a soul
Oh, the Love of Christ has ransomed us."
Part IV: Peace, Love and the Parkway
I spent two and a half hours on the Blue Ridge Parkway this evening as I drove back to my place in Asheville from our recording session. It had just finished a relatively
intense rain storm when I decided to head back. It was around 5.30pm. The sun had just started to shine through the overcast clouds.
It looked hopeful for a nice drive back. I got on the parkway in Waynesville, NC. The mountainous scenery is absolutely gorgeous. I am floored every time I drive through, but today was different. The clouds were slightly heavier than usual because of the weather; they were big, white and fluffy. The shadows they casted caused the mountains to look even more mighty this time than my previous drives. It's hard to explain. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but it's hard to explain in a thousand words the greatness of a mountain range that could
only have been created by an intelligent God. A picture can't capture the feelings I felt as I looked on in awe at the beautiful scenery. An analogy for this could be the feeling of being at a concert. Sometimes it's possible to buy a live album but the recording cannot capture the emotion of actually being at the show. The pictures I snapped express nothing like the intensity of seeing these sights first hand.
The further I got along the parkway the more foggy it got. I had to drastically decrease my speed. My visibility range became about 25 feet in both directions. Driving between mountains is
intimidating but even more so when you can't see them or what's ahead. I am glad I got to spend this time alone because I was able to hear as God spoke to me. I was praying about the future and meditating on living life with purpose and with my focus on the glory of Christ. Being forced to focus on the road helped me to realize that keeping my focus on the one true Life would allow me to be where I am supposed to be in every circumstance I would face. Why waste time living for myself and selfishly trusting on what I think I know? When I can't see but just a short distance into the future, I am forced to trust God. But, it's truly a waste when I can see more of the future and I stick to my own plans. There have been times in my past where I followed my own desires and I found myself in a place I shouldn't have been. Now, however, I feel like the future is foggy and the light at the end of the tunnel is still a foggy light.
what do you think about my photography skills and analogous references?? :)
Aside from the thoughts of my unclear future, I was able to worship my Father, the creator, as I was amazed by the creation. Due to the fall of man, the world is bent towards ruin and destruction, however, the beauty of the Creation is proof, to me, that God loves us and allows us to experience some of His beauty through the wonder of his incredible creations. The vastness of these sights reminded me of one of my favorite songs that says, "How deep the Father's Love for us! How vast beyond all measure!" To me, vast is a word that is one of the closest words that can describe His Love and it's exactly the word that comes to mind as I stood on the side of the highway to acknowledge God's handiwork. I was able to feel the Love of God as well as the peace that only He can give. Today was a wonderful and much needed time alone. If you ever are given the opportunity to drive on the parkway on an overcast day like today, you won't regret it.
From recording the song mentioned above, the grace of God rang out to me today even more. He grants me grace every day through the sacrifice of the one He Loved. Through Christ's willingness to die to save me, His Love ransoms me. Jesus still would have even chosen to die if it were only for you alone. Lately, I've been meditating on the word Ransom. To purchase something means to buy something that is not yours but because of your payment it becomes yours. To ransom something means to buy back something that is already yours. Jesus' death ransomed us because we are already His but because of our sin we are separated which requires Him to buy us back again, to ransom us. This brings so much peace to me!
Below are some more pics I snatched along my travel back home.
So yeah, an overwhelming end to an overwhelming chapter in my book. I'd say that it couldn't have come at a better time or even in a better way.
